Preservation While Black

I had the honor and pleasure to attend Viola Davis’ book tour with host, Tarana Burke. Their conversation touched many points of Viola’s new book, Finding Me. What stood out was their discussion about showing up Black in white spaces.

How does the world receive Black people? I reflected on how that plays a role any time I consider applying to a new job. When I considered medical schools, residency programs, fellowship, and now locums positions, I always ask myself ‘how will they receive me, a dark skinned Black woman?’ Will I be welcomed? Will I be safe? Will anyone look like me? Who will catch my side eye when the conversation tip toes into racist/ prejudiced territory?

It was the number one reason I initially turned down my global health fellowship admission. The plan had been to send me to rural India to work in a NICU setting with little to no resources.

I thought about how stressful it would be to work in a high stakes environment without resources. Who would I lean on? Who would support me? In a country known for colorism and caste systems, how would I survive? Would I even find products (skin and hair) to provide myself with basic self care? Realizing nothing was in place, I politely declined. I informed them that I was not able to commit to India and if they had a need for a pediatrician at one of the African sites, I would hope to be considered.

It was a HUGE decision as I had no other job prospects as yet. I had been turned down from the other global health fellowship to which I'd applied.

Lucky for me, they called back a month later, and offered a position in Liberia; a post that impacted my life. I learned to protect myself, and stay true to my needs as a Black woman. This is a skill. This is a boundary. It will need to be upheld likely for the rest of my life.

Ask yourself:

What does it mean to protect yourself? What can you do to place yourself in environments that are safer?