“No.” is a complete sentence

So many of us say yes to things we absolutely DO NOT WANT to do..

• like picking up extra shifts

• swapping a shift bc we "had no plans" even though we really needed that break

• staying at work later than we planned

• picking up someone else’s slack

And if we say no, we feel guilt. So we say yes…

then feel stress, resentment, anger.

we = me

I had to learn that saying ‘no’ to one thing means saying ‘YES!!’ to something else. ‘Yes’ to me time, or to rest, or whatever I really wanted to be doing that wasn’t being at work.

It also released me from feeling tired, overworked, or angry.

I had to learn that not having set plans or commitments didn’t mean I was free. Setting a goal or priority for my free time helps. Now, once I decide that I need to rest or reset, or time to myself, no one can convince me to repurpose it, unless I absolutely want to.

I had to learn that “No" is a complete sentence. No justifications required. Honestly still working on that one…

Kind ways to say ‘no’..

• ‘No.’ or ‘no thanks’ because being honest is a kindness

• When invited to something you will not attend: ‘Thanks for thinking of me, but unfortunately I’ll have to sit this one out.’

• ‘No I’m not able to swap/ stay late/ cover you. I do hope you find someone who can.’

• To someone asking to pick your brain or an out of office consult: I appreciate that you trust my advice. Unfortunately I cannot offer my opinion/ medical recommendation. I do recommend you visit your physician..

• To someone (not your patient) asking for quick script: Writing that script for you establishes a legal patient/ provider relationship. I cannot do that since you’re not my patient.

Be comfortable with the silence or the surprise that may follow. Accept that you may still feel guilt. But do it anyway.

ACTION ITEMS

If you have a current dilemma, or are having difficulty saying no, please reach out. I am offering a free sessions, ( 1 per person, 30 minutes each!) where you can discuss a work dilemma that you need help talking through.

Schedule here: https://calendly.com/theblkdoctor/discovery